The climb...

T = -12 months...

The climber was wondering whether to undertake the mission or not. Once he began, he knew there was no going back. If he failed, it would be the end for him. Confused, he went on the traditional walk down the path of the ages, where the elders said one must walk before taking any major decision. He spoke to the mountain in his mind, and its spirit smiled upon him, telling him to carry on with his mission.

T= -9 months...

The climber was ecstatic. The latest mountain gear he had specially ordered 3 months ago was finally arriving from halfway across the world. He smiled to himself, knowing his journey would finally begin, calm and composed despite the knowledge that the mountain was a tough one to climb.

T= -6 months...

Base camp had been made. But the blizzard that came down the mountain's slopes blinded the climber, leaving him climbing up with only his gut feeling to look up to. He could feel the mountain calling out to him, soothing his fears. Many a time there was when he felt he must turn back, but the road back was blocked with snow.

T= -3 months...

The climber had surmounted the infamous ridge of Guilt and Sorrow, named so by the local tribes at the foot of the mountain. The summit was in his sights. His life was now completely given up to the mountain. He knew there was no going back. Soon he would reach the summit, and the mystical portal leading to the realm of eternal life and happiness.

T= 0

He had reached the summit. He was happier than ever before. The mountain had showered him with its grace and allowed his presence in this hallowed spot. As a reward for his persistence and dedication, he would soon be immortalized, bound to the mountain for ever. He smiled, and raised his arms in joy.

Lightning struck the pickaxe in his hand, killing him on the spot. The mountain had defeated him after all!!

Thought stew!!

The mantis reared up its head, waiting for its prey to draw nearer. Closer the poor unsuspecting victim drew, its mind completely focused on the poetry of colors in the sky in the aftermath of the thunderstorm. Aah what hues. Aah the beauty of the spectacle. Surely this was worth gettin wet in the rain and watching lightning from under a tree, unsafe though it was. Closer, and closer, and closer, and closer. The mantis was patient, willing to wait till its prey was beyond safety.

Jodie jumped off the taxi just in time before the suicidal driver rammed the vehicle into the brick wall. The pots containing blue-violet flowers on top of the wall toppled with the force of the impact. One fell the side of the taxi, denting its hood. The other fell the other side onto Meg's head, preventing her from completing the song she was singing, cracking her skull, and killing her instantly, thus leaving Nick, who had recently forsaken everything to be with her, all alone. The color of his eyes blurred as they filled with tears over the death of the singer. But then humans are dolls manipulated by the great dice player. The victim, sitting on the wall, flew away all irritated at its disturbed siesta and contemplated moving far away to an obscure place like Imperial County or Cluj-Napoca, or maybe even an asteroid or a nebula. And it flew on until it saw the colors in the sky.

The short-tempered artist finished his paintings, while 6 British ships and several American warships drifted past his window. A tropical storm was brewing and power would soon be cut, but he had Lotus Notes which he would use to save his thoughts on his PC before the outage.  His painting was a masterpiece, changing colors with the angle of view, but it didnt beat his other big invention which identified humans' inner selves by looking into their eyes. Stanley grinned as he read the script because it had a happy ending, but that only applied to him and not to the poor victim.

The mantis grinned as only a mantis can, and snapped its jaws shut.

Moozikal Enlightenment!!

The general store owner yawned and put on his glasses. He hated having his siesta disturbed. But then, not a very idea is it having a siesta in your store while the store is still open and you expect business? But I digress. The owner looked up. There was something about the bearing of the visitor that warranted his full attention. "I am looking for the right ingredients," said the visitor. He handed over a list to the owner. "I am sorry but these we have not. Well, except for the bass, we can give you that." He walked inside and returned carrying a fish that had clearly spent quite some time away from the sea. "No you doofus," said the visitor. "I want bass. Moozik. Bass. Bam bam boom boom Bass. Savvy?" "Aah my apologies, Sir. But that we have not." The visitor sighed and walked out without another word.

The visitor sat on the bench on the sidewalk, crossing out another name in his long list of potentials. He had had little luck so far with his wishlist. Well, he had got volume, but that was easy, all he had needed to do was use some cheek samples from the town crier. He had just one place left to visit, but once he saw the name of that place, he wondered aloud why he had not just gone there in the first place. "Utopia of Music. They are the best in the business after all. Let me go there now," he thought, and being one of those people who believe that actions speak louder than words, he went there. And the old wizened owner who looked like he would fall if the visitor clapped in his face saw his list, and said, "Now, now. Let me see. Interesting, very interesting indeed. Bass. I have that in good measure. User friendliness. Check. Casing. Check." And a large number of checks followed as he went down the list. At the last one he paused. "Awesomeness. Now, now, that is something you must find on your own. And I know you will, for we have met before, haven't we?"

"Yes. I last came here as a portable disc player. Before that I was a Walkman. And my memory cheats me before that, but I think I was one of those antiquated large players with black discs and a big horn. The one that dogs listen to when their masters die." "Very true, very true. And do you have the answer now?" "I think so. I have realised that I was setting too much store in these minor items. They all follow from the last one, though it may seem otherwise to most people, and even I have been fooled. But I know now. Nothing is important. I am ready to let go and forsake it all. I see the light." "Well then, be what you were destined to be."

"Yes. I am the Pod-isattva, and I have achieved musical enlightenment. I need to spread this message of musical awesomeness to the world now. It is time for musical Nirvana. No, I'm not talking about you, Kurt."

A boring story inspired by boredom and well, the rain...

The young man paused. He had made his way halfway up the steep slopes of the great mountain that overlooked his village. It had taken him the better half of the day, and he was now doubting his ability to go all the way to the top. But he knew that no one else could do it, and he had to reach the top at any cost. His life depended on it. The whole village's life depended on it. He was the strongest man of his village, and had been chosen to undertake this seemingly superman task of reaching the top of the great mountain. He had to get there. He had to. He had to.

It was a bad year for the village. The rains had kept away that year, and there had been not even a hint of a cloud. The villagers had always lived in the shadow of the mountain, and the rolling hills surrounded them in all other directions. They were hemmed in from all directions, and lived off the land, while some of the more adventurous ones would venture into the jungles on the lower slopes of the rolling hills to hunt game. The jungles were taboo, for they were filled with ferocious beasts. And so, the villagers had lived separated from the outside world for as long as the oldest grandmother among them could remember. The rain gods had always smiled upon them, and the harvests had been good. But this year was bad. Real bad. Real real bad.

So as the food reserves dropped, and the water reservoirs dried out, they went to the oldest grandmother in the village, who told them of the tale which had been told her by her grandmother, and to her by her grandmother, and so on and so forth. And she said, "This tale I was told by my grandmother, that if ever the rain stopped, and hunger and death stared us in the face, the answer to our problems would be found at the top of the great mountain. There lives an old man who can make it rain."

The great mountain was revered by all the villagers for the shadow of its benevolent presence. It was sacred, and no one was to scale its slopes. But now someone had to. And after much debate and a lot of discussions, the strongest man was chosen to climb the mountain and find the answer.

So our champion climbed and climbed until finally he ran out of mountain, and he got up onto the peak and fell there in exhaustion. His lips parched and blackened from lack of water, his skin cracked from the fury of the noonday sun, he crawled slowly forward, and saw the mouth of a cave. He walked in. "Hey dude!! Want some booze?" a voice said.

The old man looked up from his glass and grinned. "Man, I'm glad for some company. It sure is boring up here, all alone by myself. Thank heavens for Amazon. I can at least drink as much as I want. Awesome delivery system they have."

"The tribe of mythical women? All us men dream of them."

"No, you doofus. The website."

"Oh, what's that?"

"Never you mind. It serves all my needs is all you need to know."

"Ok, ok. Let's get to business. Old man, make it rain."

"Rain, eh? But you haven't spoken the magic word."

"Magic word? But isn't that your job?"

"My job? What's my job?"

"To make it rain."

"Rain? Me make it rain? What do you think I am?"

"The old man of the mountain. You can make it rain. The oldest grandmother said so."

"Ohh. I'm sorry. It's been so long. I can't do it."

"What? But you must. We will all die otherwise."

"You won't. Stay here with me. Let's party. Screw the rest."

"I can't do that. They depend on me. You must do it."

"Sorry, bud. I can't. And I don't like your attitude, so I wouldn't even if I could."

"Aah so you can?"

"I never said that."

"Yes, you did. You said you could."

"Doofus!! I said 'if I could.'"

"Whatever! Do it."

"Can't."

"I'll kill you if you don't."

"Go ahead. Who will save your village then?"

"So you say that if you live you can?"

"Don't bug me, kid. Go back and die. I can't."

"Too bad then. I'll just kill you and take all this liquid lying around back to the village."

"It's beer you fool. And how will you take it back anyway?"

"I didn't think of that."

"Of course you didn't, you twat. Well, here's what I can do. Let's order a pipeline and a water connection, and I'll channel it through my cave out to your side of the mountain. We can create a waterfall and you will have your water too."

"Deal."

So that's what they did, and the village had water. The champion went back home. The old man leaned back in his chair, and sighed. He had a beer, and then decided to bathe. He entered the bathroom, and snapped his fingers. A cloud appeared over his head, giving him water to bathe in.

A day in the life of Don I. Parr

Don was high. He felt high. He didn't remember what he did the previous night, which he supposed was what being high meant. He felt light, like a big ball of cotton floating around a room with four table fans running. Now don't ask me why four table fans, I would have prefered forty-two, it being the ultimate answer and all, but then I doubt a room will have so many plug points. Again, after the recent genocide of the ceiling fans by the table fans and the subsequent civil war demanding more rights, table fans were entitled to their own plots of land, which meant that each table fan had its own table, and again, fitting forty-two tables in a tiny room, well, never mind... I digress. So Don was high, and he felt like a ball of cotton floating around a room with four table fans running. Now this does not mean that Don was in a room. Let's just say for now that Don was high. But to satisfy human curiosities, we must go back to when Don was born.

The Parrs were a big family, and they lived in a huge community of their kind (clearly, they were not yet influenced by the table fans). The community members had a very strong bond among themselves, and it was really tough to leave the place (not that anyone wanted to, they loved being there among their own kind). Now Don was your typical problem child, throwing tantrums, not obeying elders, and always wanting to go to the outer rim of the colony, which of course children were not supposed to. Now there was a reason for this too. The colony worshipped Sol, and Sol demanded sacrifices, so every day oh so many members shrieked screamed yelled bawled as Sol claimed them, and naturally children were not to be sacrificed, ergo they were not to go near the outer rim, which as you folks must have figured out by now was where Sol went on a rampage every day.

So Don (being the naughty brat that he is) runs away to the outer rim, and promptly feels the heat of the situation (quite literally in fact). And Sol absorbed his soul like everyone else's, and his soul rose up and up and up (Aah, now that's why he felt all high) and in the world of the Uphigh, all the souls got together again (their bonding so strong). And some of these colonies swept across the world of the Uphigh, feeling like big balls of cotton (community consciousness, yeah) and some grew big. Some grew so big that they angered the gods who then broke them and sent them back to ground zero.

And to ensure this tale goes again, Don was in one of these big big big colonies, and was struck down and came flying down, acquiring a body on the way. His own older body, or a new one? Don't ask me, its all an illusion anyway. So down they all came, and their movement was like a great big cosmic dance, finally made scientific technical cool awesome-looking famous by a pair of brothers who showed a certain someone the path but made him walk it himself, all while he was dreaming and thinking it was real.

And Don is now high again, but this time in his body form, and he is enjoying it, because he is at the top of a big giant rollercoaster slide, and something tells him that at the end of all this fun, he shall see his family again. But the slide story is a tale for another day.

An instant cure

"Take the train," she said. "Whoever has taken the train has been cured."

"Yeah, well, you know... I like this pain. It makes me feel alive."

"I know about your masochist tendencies. But its not like you are bleeding and you get to lick your wounds and drink your blood, you know. This is muscle pain. You are getting old and you need to act your age. Enough of this exercise. You heave your chest and flex your limbs like you are all of 16, but you are growing no younger you know. You stretched yourself too far and now your bloody back hurts."

"Bah!! In my heart I'm always 16, and you know that. As long as the mind is young, the body will obey. You just feel old yourself and are venting it out on me."

"Fine, whatever you say. But for now, just go and board the goddamn train. I'm getting more bored here while you lie in bed doing nothing."

"What train is this? I don't want to move an inch."

"Oh, but you must, you know. You have to move. Come, I'll help you. The nearest stop is pretty close, the station of Aah."

"Fine, I'll move, I'll move. And where do I get off??"

"At the station of Aaha. They have a space-time warp there which will bring you back here."

"Oh cool. So what's this train called?"

"Moov. Aah se Aaha tak. Instant cure."

Laaeef @ Yem-Bee-Yay

It all began on a hot bright sunny day

At the end of a work-heavy month of May

I headed off to do my Yem-Bee-Yay

In a B-school called Yaay Yaay Yem-Kay!!

To begin with there was a teeny little prep course

But I didn't have it so at home I worked on my snores

I finally land there, hoping to meet more than bores

And keen to unleash the full power of the Force!!

First I had to endure gruelling sessions of Micro-eco

I found refuge in the fantasy world of Naruto

As ninjas fought and killed and yelled "Dattebayo"

Studies totally ignored, grades plummeted!! Aiyo!!

As more profs came by with more and more to teach

I got hooked to the death gods and hollows of Bleach

Of course, stats and all that is essential for a global outreach

But teach me any more and I'll collapse with a screech!!

Marketing, finance, operations, so much of it!! Yike!!

Took my anger out on some poor bots in Counter Strike

Karimeen Pollichattu at Paragon, travelling on a bike

Missing out on city trips due to some stupid strike!!

Along came HR people, to force into our heads OB

No thanks, I'll watch Anakin fight Obi-wan-Kenobi

Star Wars did matter much more than that stuff to me

At least I could use the Force and set my mind free!!

Team meetings, chats, and class participation so fake

I'll sit shut and think of the next episode of Prison Break

Obviously in CP I scored a big duck, or is it a drake

No matter, in the end a good manager did I make!!

 

Luckily Atharva quizzes and informals were a craze

And was fun bamboozling people with Labyrinth - the maze

It all ensured the boredom otherwise did not me unfaze

How people can stare at a laptop all day, does me amaze!!

It took a whole year, and the arrival of Strategy

To infuse into academics some much needed energy

Fun talking of missions and visions and many a synergy

Time passed by, load reduced, slipped into lethargy!!

Of course, there was plenty of chips and colas and gum

And mess parties with concoctions of vodka-rum

Walks and jogs to help reduce the size of my tum

Birthdays to play football with a person's bum!!

Along came the recession, placements fell and fell

So switched to wordgames in Dublin, they went so well

Got a job, had loads of fun, how time flew I cannot tell

For suddenly there was the tolling of the convocation bell!!

Back to a job now, but I look back on every term so fun

Each better than the last, finally ending with half a dozen

With many a PJ, many a poem, and very many a pun

Sigh!! It's all over now... but sure did enjoy a ton!!