A boring story inspired by boredom and well, the rain...

The young man paused. He had made his way halfway up the steep slopes of the great mountain that overlooked his village. It had taken him the better half of the day, and he was now doubting his ability to go all the way to the top. But he knew that no one else could do it, and he had to reach the top at any cost. His life depended on it. The whole village's life depended on it. He was the strongest man of his village, and had been chosen to undertake this seemingly superman task of reaching the top of the great mountain. He had to get there. He had to. He had to.

It was a bad year for the village. The rains had kept away that year, and there had been not even a hint of a cloud. The villagers had always lived in the shadow of the mountain, and the rolling hills surrounded them in all other directions. They were hemmed in from all directions, and lived off the land, while some of the more adventurous ones would venture into the jungles on the lower slopes of the rolling hills to hunt game. The jungles were taboo, for they were filled with ferocious beasts. And so, the villagers had lived separated from the outside world for as long as the oldest grandmother among them could remember. The rain gods had always smiled upon them, and the harvests had been good. But this year was bad. Real bad. Real real bad.

So as the food reserves dropped, and the water reservoirs dried out, they went to the oldest grandmother in the village, who told them of the tale which had been told her by her grandmother, and to her by her grandmother, and so on and so forth. And she said, "This tale I was told by my grandmother, that if ever the rain stopped, and hunger and death stared us in the face, the answer to our problems would be found at the top of the great mountain. There lives an old man who can make it rain."

The great mountain was revered by all the villagers for the shadow of its benevolent presence. It was sacred, and no one was to scale its slopes. But now someone had to. And after much debate and a lot of discussions, the strongest man was chosen to climb the mountain and find the answer.

So our champion climbed and climbed until finally he ran out of mountain, and he got up onto the peak and fell there in exhaustion. His lips parched and blackened from lack of water, his skin cracked from the fury of the noonday sun, he crawled slowly forward, and saw the mouth of a cave. He walked in. "Hey dude!! Want some booze?" a voice said.

The old man looked up from his glass and grinned. "Man, I'm glad for some company. It sure is boring up here, all alone by myself. Thank heavens for Amazon. I can at least drink as much as I want. Awesome delivery system they have."

"The tribe of mythical women? All us men dream of them."

"No, you doofus. The website."

"Oh, what's that?"

"Never you mind. It serves all my needs is all you need to know."

"Ok, ok. Let's get to business. Old man, make it rain."

"Rain, eh? But you haven't spoken the magic word."

"Magic word? But isn't that your job?"

"My job? What's my job?"

"To make it rain."

"Rain? Me make it rain? What do you think I am?"

"The old man of the mountain. You can make it rain. The oldest grandmother said so."

"Ohh. I'm sorry. It's been so long. I can't do it."

"What? But you must. We will all die otherwise."

"You won't. Stay here with me. Let's party. Screw the rest."

"I can't do that. They depend on me. You must do it."

"Sorry, bud. I can't. And I don't like your attitude, so I wouldn't even if I could."

"Aah so you can?"

"I never said that."

"Yes, you did. You said you could."

"Doofus!! I said 'if I could.'"

"Whatever! Do it."

"Can't."

"I'll kill you if you don't."

"Go ahead. Who will save your village then?"

"So you say that if you live you can?"

"Don't bug me, kid. Go back and die. I can't."

"Too bad then. I'll just kill you and take all this liquid lying around back to the village."

"It's beer you fool. And how will you take it back anyway?"

"I didn't think of that."

"Of course you didn't, you twat. Well, here's what I can do. Let's order a pipeline and a water connection, and I'll channel it through my cave out to your side of the mountain. We can create a waterfall and you will have your water too."

"Deal."

So that's what they did, and the village had water. The champion went back home. The old man leaned back in his chair, and sighed. He had a beer, and then decided to bathe. He entered the bathroom, and snapped his fingers. A cloud appeared over his head, giving him water to bathe in.

A day in the life of Don I. Parr

Don was high. He felt high. He didn't remember what he did the previous night, which he supposed was what being high meant. He felt light, like a big ball of cotton floating around a room with four table fans running. Now don't ask me why four table fans, I would have prefered forty-two, it being the ultimate answer and all, but then I doubt a room will have so many plug points. Again, after the recent genocide of the ceiling fans by the table fans and the subsequent civil war demanding more rights, table fans were entitled to their own plots of land, which meant that each table fan had its own table, and again, fitting forty-two tables in a tiny room, well, never mind... I digress. So Don was high, and he felt like a ball of cotton floating around a room with four table fans running. Now this does not mean that Don was in a room. Let's just say for now that Don was high. But to satisfy human curiosities, we must go back to when Don was born.

The Parrs were a big family, and they lived in a huge community of their kind (clearly, they were not yet influenced by the table fans). The community members had a very strong bond among themselves, and it was really tough to leave the place (not that anyone wanted to, they loved being there among their own kind). Now Don was your typical problem child, throwing tantrums, not obeying elders, and always wanting to go to the outer rim of the colony, which of course children were not supposed to. Now there was a reason for this too. The colony worshipped Sol, and Sol demanded sacrifices, so every day oh so many members shrieked screamed yelled bawled as Sol claimed them, and naturally children were not to be sacrificed, ergo they were not to go near the outer rim, which as you folks must have figured out by now was where Sol went on a rampage every day.

So Don (being the naughty brat that he is) runs away to the outer rim, and promptly feels the heat of the situation (quite literally in fact). And Sol absorbed his soul like everyone else's, and his soul rose up and up and up (Aah, now that's why he felt all high) and in the world of the Uphigh, all the souls got together again (their bonding so strong). And some of these colonies swept across the world of the Uphigh, feeling like big balls of cotton (community consciousness, yeah) and some grew big. Some grew so big that they angered the gods who then broke them and sent them back to ground zero.

And to ensure this tale goes again, Don was in one of these big big big colonies, and was struck down and came flying down, acquiring a body on the way. His own older body, or a new one? Don't ask me, its all an illusion anyway. So down they all came, and their movement was like a great big cosmic dance, finally made scientific technical cool awesome-looking famous by a pair of brothers who showed a certain someone the path but made him walk it himself, all while he was dreaming and thinking it was real.

And Don is now high again, but this time in his body form, and he is enjoying it, because he is at the top of a big giant rollercoaster slide, and something tells him that at the end of all this fun, he shall see his family again. But the slide story is a tale for another day.

An instant cure

"Take the train," she said. "Whoever has taken the train has been cured."

"Yeah, well, you know... I like this pain. It makes me feel alive."

"I know about your masochist tendencies. But its not like you are bleeding and you get to lick your wounds and drink your blood, you know. This is muscle pain. You are getting old and you need to act your age. Enough of this exercise. You heave your chest and flex your limbs like you are all of 16, but you are growing no younger you know. You stretched yourself too far and now your bloody back hurts."

"Bah!! In my heart I'm always 16, and you know that. As long as the mind is young, the body will obey. You just feel old yourself and are venting it out on me."

"Fine, whatever you say. But for now, just go and board the goddamn train. I'm getting more bored here while you lie in bed doing nothing."

"What train is this? I don't want to move an inch."

"Oh, but you must, you know. You have to move. Come, I'll help you. The nearest stop is pretty close, the station of Aah."

"Fine, I'll move, I'll move. And where do I get off??"

"At the station of Aaha. They have a space-time warp there which will bring you back here."

"Oh cool. So what's this train called?"

"Moov. Aah se Aaha tak. Instant cure."

Laaeef @ Yem-Bee-Yay

It all began on a hot bright sunny day

At the end of a work-heavy month of May

I headed off to do my Yem-Bee-Yay

In a B-school called Yaay Yaay Yem-Kay!!

To begin with there was a teeny little prep course

But I didn't have it so at home I worked on my snores

I finally land there, hoping to meet more than bores

And keen to unleash the full power of the Force!!

First I had to endure gruelling sessions of Micro-eco

I found refuge in the fantasy world of Naruto

As ninjas fought and killed and yelled "Dattebayo"

Studies totally ignored, grades plummeted!! Aiyo!!

As more profs came by with more and more to teach

I got hooked to the death gods and hollows of Bleach

Of course, stats and all that is essential for a global outreach

But teach me any more and I'll collapse with a screech!!

Marketing, finance, operations, so much of it!! Yike!!

Took my anger out on some poor bots in Counter Strike

Karimeen Pollichattu at Paragon, travelling on a bike

Missing out on city trips due to some stupid strike!!

Along came HR people, to force into our heads OB

No thanks, I'll watch Anakin fight Obi-wan-Kenobi

Star Wars did matter much more than that stuff to me

At least I could use the Force and set my mind free!!

Team meetings, chats, and class participation so fake

I'll sit shut and think of the next episode of Prison Break

Obviously in CP I scored a big duck, or is it a drake

No matter, in the end a good manager did I make!!

 

Luckily Atharva quizzes and informals were a craze

And was fun bamboozling people with Labyrinth - the maze

It all ensured the boredom otherwise did not me unfaze

How people can stare at a laptop all day, does me amaze!!

It took a whole year, and the arrival of Strategy

To infuse into academics some much needed energy

Fun talking of missions and visions and many a synergy

Time passed by, load reduced, slipped into lethargy!!

Of course, there was plenty of chips and colas and gum

And mess parties with concoctions of vodka-rum

Walks and jogs to help reduce the size of my tum

Birthdays to play football with a person's bum!!

Along came the recession, placements fell and fell

So switched to wordgames in Dublin, they went so well

Got a job, had loads of fun, how time flew I cannot tell

For suddenly there was the tolling of the convocation bell!!

Back to a job now, but I look back on every term so fun

Each better than the last, finally ending with half a dozen

With many a PJ, many a poem, and very many a pun

Sigh!! It's all over now... but sure did enjoy a ton!!

The End of the End...

As is fairly common now in the days of the internet, it all began online. In fact, it began with the great art in which my competency levels were much higher than most other people. Then came the end of the beginning and the beginning of the end, interspersed with one phone call which went through as most communications do with a handshake mechanism.

The beginning of the end later, more practice followed of the great art, lots more in fact, and then realization hit of the impending journey. Ergo some more tcp/ip action followed, culminating in 6 hair pin bends, a patriotic salute and top grade work the next day.

Towel conversations followed in deep thought as the severe cold used gtalk to ping the leader of the human resistance against Cameron's machines. Time passed and the machines grew weak under the onslaught of the resistance.

Pygmalion finally encountered Aphrodite, and braving the terror of the giant Cerebrus, he bade the statue to come to life. Olympus rejoiced!!

The Spartan invasion caused famines and the Olympians were hard hit as the Athenians refused to give any more sacrifices to them. The best of the gods were the worst off as they demanded bigger and better sacrifices, and were considered as fickle by the Athenians. So no matter how awesome they were, there was no fit and they ended up powerless.

Aphrodite received a panacea and decided to travel the world curing people of their ills. Of course prior to her great task she would return to her abode along the ocean and partake of copious portions of ambrosia.

As for me, I shall ride out the era of fear and evil and wait for the coming of the avenging angel, the tenth and final one, and shall announce his presence to the entire world. But that shall be the beginning of a new beginning which I shall write about later.

As of now, the end of the end which came after the beginning of the end which came after the end of the beginning has begun, which also means that it has ended... thus the end is now ended... and a new beginning shall begin soon... after shocks of the last major earthquake which sunk Atlantis and brought Pygmalion down to his knees remain, and shall do so for a while!!

For now, its boiled beans, beer, blogs and branding, until new beginnings begin!!

Se7en

Gluttony:
Chips and Pepsi and more chips and more Pepsi and some Mountain Dew and more chips and still more chips and lots more chips and a lot of... well, never mind...

Greed:
Abandon chips and keep asking for more and more and more of... well, never mind again...

Sloth:
Stay rooted to one place, never move, never get up... sleep on and on and on...

Pride:
The best wanting the best... Awesomeness all around...

Lust:
Never mind this one...

Envy:
Time is short and life will go to the dogs... tiny ones, but dogs nonetheless...

Wrath:
Take the ring off and punch the open palm with your fist, but at just 30% power...

Se7en it was and so shall it remain... sigh...

2 since hell...

The light flickered. The walls darkened, as the lord of the dark threatened to engulf the room. Soul gripped by fear, as the shadows drew ever closer. Thought back to the time of the light.

The sun blazed brightly. Walked a few small steps and then gravity took over. The light turned from wave form to particle form and stopped the fall and the subsequent hurt. Was lifted by the light and set down in a safe place. Was gazed upon by the light all around me. Knew nothing else.

Light in all directions. Darkness in mind. Light so bright the darkness disappears. Light, light and then some more light. A world full of light.

Went away from the light. Entered a world of half darkness. Could still feel it from far far away. Occasional replenishments in the fountain of life. So much light.

An eclipse started. The sun was not worried. The danger would pass. Was not a normal eclipse. Triggered by a black hole. Eclipse passed. Black hole remained. Light started flickering.

Darkness grew. Not used to it. Falls still stopped by light. Power of light waning. Light still selfless as ever. Realized finally what it means to be without light.

Flickering increased. Darkness stronger now. More in my mind than outside. Felt fear.

Light fought but couldn't win. Gave its last burst of energy. Light went out. Saw a momentary glimpse of hell. Can't see it again.

2 since hell...