The Capital of the United Tribes

Move to India to a southern metropolis which is known as the Eastern Silicon Valley. A student of a top B-school who has landed a job in the main financial institution of Allemagne is asked, “What is the capital of Afghanistan?” She says, “Taliban”. This is followed by gasps from all who heard this statement. “Don’t you even know that it’s Kabul?” some ask. I beg to differ. When a country is as volatile as this one, and has so many parts all of which claim the right to rule, setting a capital is an almost impossible task. What is a capital anyway? It’s a star on the map of the country. If you observe closely, the capital on the map often looks like the Star of David. That means the country is either Jewish or subscribes to the monthly newsletter of the Priory of Sion. In the latter case, it implies that the country believes in equality for men and women. This is clearly not the case here. So Kabul cannot be the capital. What then is the capital of Afghanistan? Some would say the letter ‘A’. Speaking in a literal sense, this is true, but it feels a little weird. Going by this logic, Bush’s country would have three capitals and most country capitals would not be unique. Again. this might hurt the sentiments of people who believe their country and their capital are better than others. So this approach fails too.

What then is the capital of a country? It is the place where the government rules from. Does Afghanistan have a government? Yes. Do they have a ruling government? Yes again. Do they have a ruling government whose decisions are implemented? No. So the government is void. Power is in the hands of a number of warlords. So the capital has to be the place where the most powerful of them rules from. But they are all equally powerful and have been so for centuries, else one of them would have conquered the rest. Only one group has been powerful enough to control Afghanistan in the last many years, and that is the Taliban. It was spread all over the country, and governed from all over too. Its boss always kept roaming around to avoid retribution so there was no one place he stayed in. So the capital has to be the Taliban. Continuing in this vein, the current capital of Afghanistan is Washington D.C.. End of story.